Of Straight Jackets and Indecencies
by Autumn Jester of Nevermore
Summary: Mello's first kidnapping wasn't Sayu Yagami. It was a girl name Mine. Mine has no tact, lets see how they get along. Mello is sorta OOC. Sorry that choco lover is a pain to write. Rated for language.


Let's say Sayu Yagami was Mello's SECOND kidnapping attempt

**Let's say Sayu Yagami was Mello's SECOND kidnapping attempt. But this girl was his first, she popped his kidnapping cherry. The only thing I own from this story is my character. Lines and comments made by her were stolen from songs and the movie Tank Girl. Please no flames. Rated for language and a few ahem naughtly things said by my character.**

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_tweet…tweet…tweet… _the birds chirped merrily, the sky was blue, the grass was green, and the hobo's were brown. However, one person was not aware of this, her name was Mine. Mine was currently in a straight jacket in a small cell somewhere that was not a supermarket.

_Grrrrrr…_ the happy bird perched on the windowsill and began its twittering again, when suddenly WHAM! Mine's booted foot collided with the bars of the window and she yelled "Fucking bird! I'm trying to fucking sleep!"

**Mello's POV**

"Three weeks Matt. She's been here for three weeks and we still haven't gotten anything out of her!" The only answer that Mello got was the clicking of buttons and the Super Mario theme song playing contentedly. Mello growled and returned his eyes to the screen in time to see Mine kick the bars of the cell he, himself, had put her in.

"Matt, get two of the guys and come with me." The red head popped his eyes up from his game, "Where are we going?" Mello bit off a chunk of chocolate from a new candy bar and said, "We're going down to say 'Good Morning' to Mine."

**Regular POV**

Mine sat up irritated to no end that her peaceful sleep had been disrupted by a flying feather duster. She sat on the floor with her legs wide open so she didn't topple backwards, her teeth chattered from the cold in the room. Even though the mafia's base was in the middle of the desert it still got fucking cold in the middle of the night.

Mine sat and shivered until she heard the obnoxiously loud screeching of the metal door on her cell being opened. She looked up as Mello came in but other than that she made no movements.

"Good morning Mine. How are you doing?" Mello's false smile was threatening to break his face; he looked like a very sluttish animated Barbie when he did that. Mine grinned insanely and replied, "I'm just peachy. OH! And I was wondering, when are you going to get this jacket off me? It makes it very hard to play with myself." Matt stopped playing and looked up; his eyes were wide behind yellow tinted goggles.

Mine saw the look on his face and busted out laughing.

A very tall man with dreadlocks came up behind Mello and said, "Sir. Why don't we just kill her? I can see she's going to be no help." Mello growled at the guy behind him but before he could say anything Mine looked up from her, now laying, position on the floor. She had managed to wiggle enough that one of her hands was sticking out of the top of her straightjacket next to her head. She pointed to the dread locked man and said, "Yeah well you know what I see?" Mello turned and looked at her, the dread locked man took the bait, "No what do you see?" Mine smile and said, "I see a HUGE honkin' booger, hangin' outta your left nostril. And if I were you-"she wiggled her hand out of the jacket a little more till her whole hand was visible, then she continued, "I would use this finger to pick it!" and she promptly flipped off the man with dreadlocks.

Mine started laughing again.

Dreadlocks came over and silenced her laughing with one swift kick to the face. Mine was almost knocked out from the blow. Mello leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Mine…Mine…Mine…what am I going to do with you? You can leave anytime. All you have to do is tell me the headquarters of the SPK. After all, you're so beautiful when you're clean and happy. Don't you want to go back to Near and be the beautiful flower of a girl he fell in love with?" Mine snorted from keeping in her laughter, "Ok…-" she started Mello actually thought for a minute that she had changed her mind and was actually going to tell him Near's hideout location, then she finished "If you want to torture me, spank me, Lick me…do it. But if this poetry shit continues just fucking shoot me."

Dreadlocks had, had enough. He came and delivered another swift kick to Mine's face, this time knocking her out cold. Mine lost consciousness with a smirk still plastered to her face.

**Hehehehe...that was fun. This was inspired by a night at my friends house when we watched Tank Girl. I loved those lines so much and I wanted to make a story with a girl being a pain in Mello's ass.**


End file.
